Ejovi Nuwere

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Taking on mentors is not easy but absolutely necessary to succeed. I used to just flat out ask people “would you be my mentor?” The problem with being so forward is not many people really want to be mentors, at least not the people I want to mentor me. Their lives are already too busy. Sometimes I receive emails from people asking me to mentor them or teach them what I know. Here is a secret, the mentor apprentice relationship is entirely dependent on the mentor caring about you.

It took me a long time to realize this. But looking back at the best mentors I’ve had in life, mostly teachers. More then being my teacher they had a emotional attachment to me, a true desire to want to see me succeed. The worst mentors I had were extremely successful but had no emotional attachment to seeing me succeed. While I learned a lot from the latter, those relationships were often short lived. They will keep you around as long as they find you useful.

Get someone to invest in you emotionally and they will want to maintain the relationship for a lifetime. A good mentor slowly turns into a friend.

So how do I get people to invest in me emotionally? First be open. Share yourself and ask others to share themselves. Regardless of how successful someone is, they have a personal story. Learn their personal and then slowly share yours when appropriate.

So how do I get someone to become my mentor? I say “I bet I could really learn a lot from you.” Said early in the relationship, this defines how you want to interact with them. If you seem bright and curious and willing to learn people will go out of their way to help you. If you seem like a know it all, no one will. I don’t ask for mentors anymore, I ask for permission to learn. Doesn’t that sound silly? Who could say no?

what else should i cover in this series of post?